| Some say the end is near, some say we'll see armageddon soon. |
[Sep. 22nd, 2005|05:40 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  F.U.B.A.R.E.D | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Staind - Right Here | ] |
Warning: This post is as emo as it's going to get. Anyways, I forgot I had this, so I'm posting here to get my thoughts out. WTF is going on with US! We've had 2 of the north's largest hurricanes, in one month. No, New Orleans couldn't be just wiped out now, they have to go to Texas. And possibly houston, the place where several of my long distance friends are, and one that has always held a close place in my heart. But no, that's not enough, not only do I have sleepless nights worrying about loved ones, friends, but they have to drive the gas prices up the ass. A few months after I get a damn truck. Oh, and I think Korea is blaming us for nuking them, or something like that? Hmmm. School is a bitch, and I have to tough it out, it's hard as fuck, but my future depends on it. I'm majorly lacking sleep, my family is worried about me, as I'm pushing them away when they ask me what's wrong. My friends are all jerks, well, not all, but ironically the ones that ARE jerks are the one that I work to help so much. I've almost gotten in a few car crashes, and pissed a few people off. I also almost knocked the shit out of someone today, I was two seconds from doing so, but caught myself. I havn't eaten much in I'd say 72 hours. It's hard to sleep at night, and I stay up late studying. I seem to have developed some nervous gagging problem in the morning, which really gets annoying. I'm falling away from my closest friends, everyone is too busy. I went to eat dinner with a good friend of mine, to find out he has been diagnosed with: A swallowing disorder, insomnia, anarexia, and depression. He is being forced to go to some eating disorder group session with only girls. And...of my other 3 close childhood neighborhood friends, one i've hardly seen due to a new girlfriend, one has problems of her own, and one is too busy for his own good. And stressing out like a bitch. I'm all over the place in having a faith right now as well. Like everyone, I question my religion, my faith. I question God, his existence, his whole damn entirety. But you know what? As I once read in a quote a while back, "I'd rather live and believe in a God and die to find out there isn't one, then live and not believe in a God, and die to find out there is." Whatever, whereever, whoever he or she or IT is, I really could use em'. Anyways, that's enough for now. I've got plenty of work to do.
-aR out |
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| Alo,ha, Bitches. |
[Jun. 17th, 2005|11:53 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Beastie Boys: Body Movin' | ] |
Alrighhtttt...It's about 8:54 Local time, 11:54 back home. Got some time to kill, so I'm going to kill it. Right now I'm sitting in my room on my bed, fresh & clean from Chlorine and Salt water. Hawaii is beautiful, more beautiful then I remember it to be, well maybe that's because last time I visited Maui I was quite young. The beach-house is awesome. A huge kitchen, bar, pool room with a nice pool table, huge pool and spa, a few master bed rooms, one right in front of the pool...big showers...plasma tv, all that good stuff. I've got to take a bunch of friends back here, but make them all sign contracts that they wont burn the place down during their stay. I am wayyyy tired. I went to bed at 11, got up at 3, didn't sleep at all on the 5 hour flight, got dragged all over the place by my aunt and mom doing errands...blablabla. Funny little story, my mom and my aunt...are two crazy embarassing freaky (old people). Last time we were waiting at the airport for a flight to LA, a family vacation to disneyland & universal, my mom brought...a plastic rooster. In its own little cage. Her and my aunt would go around and pet it and show it off to people, just to have fun. Once me and my cousin kidnapped the rooster, never returned it (left it under the hotel bed), they got their fairy wands and tinkerbell hats at disneyland. I, of course, didn't go near them, I couldn't afford to be seen with such...'fairies'. Well, anyways, this time they only brought giant stuffed lions. One was named "Ceasar" and the other "Pinkie". Let's just say Ceasar tasted the smell of my ass. But yeah, this week is going to be full of a few trips to the other islands, snorkling and scuba diving, but other then that I'm relaxxxingggg. My parents are going horseback riding, something I'm not currently interested in. We're going to a few of those Luows(SP?) with the fire breathing people and all that shit. Ahh...this weather is so awesome...Once the sun set, I just got in the warm pool and laid on my back staring at the stars for a good hour. Fun stuff. Anyways, catch yall later. SUCKAZ... *Runs* |
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| Schoooool's out forrrr SUMMER |
[Jun. 9th, 2005|09:16 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bouncy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | A Perfect Circle: The package. | ] |
*Reflects*
Alright, it's over. Another year gone by, 2 more to go. Shit, it's gone way too fast. Today was kind of sad, quite a few of my friends leaving, for various reasons, and one who I was just getting to know pretty damn well. Oh well. So much shit has happened this year, and I must say, I've grown and matured quite a lot. I've learned that you don't need to be "cool" to enjoy yourself in high school. In fact, the "cool" people can all go fuck themselves. I've learned to not judge, and to treat others how you'd like to be treated. And if someone doesn't like me for me, they can kiss my ass. I've learned to have FUN, to be random, and the more people stare at you like "wtf" the better! I've developed a great sense of respect towards those around me, even if I may not recieve the same amount of respect back. I've learned how to deal with my "friends". I've learned that they may all fuck around sometimes, but, when push comes to shove, the true ones are always there for you. I've learned to love my friends, and I've really gone through a lot with all of them. The good times, the bad times, it was all worth while. I've learned the true meaning of a friend, and learned how to tell who's just playing with you. And, from what my friend's tell me, I've got some pretty damn good things to say when it comes to giving advice, and the cool thing is, I love helping my friends out. I've also come to learn that SCHOOL ISN'T FUCKING EVERYTHING. If I spent so much time devoted to worrying about school, I'd give myself ulcers by 18. I've learned that when you see 4 sherrif cars driving towards you, and a dyke sherrif pointing a gun at you, you fucking drop WHATEVER you have, and get on the ground like WOAH. And if you're shot in the head by an airsoft gun, you dont walk into a dinner party with a bloody face asking for a bandaid. I've learned that if you're trying to see if the safety on a shotgun is off, you dont fucking aim up and pull the trigger, and go "whoops". I've learned that if some motherfucker pushes you, you push the little bitch back. Can't let others see you as easy meat. I've also learned to watch out for the curb when parking ;-). I've learned that resentment and anger does no good, and a pessimistic attitude gets you no where. The key is optimism, people. I've learned that reading books isn't actually half bad, and some books are even WORTH READING! OMFG! I've learned that looks aren't everything, and you can't judge a book by it's cover. Literally, and figureatively. I've learned that sometimes, even though you know you're right, you've got to bite the bullet and apologize, because losing a friend just isn't worth the ego trip. I've learned that life is what you make it. You've got to make the best of a bad situation. I've also learned that if you have an open shot, take it, because it won't always be there. I've learned that there's no use whining about various things in my life, because they could always be so much worse. I've learned that sometimes you've just got to suck the shit in, and deal with it. And that patience, of course, is bliss. But, most importantly, I've learned how fucking awesome my friends are.
I love all of you guys, online, offline, far away, down the street, and don't know what I'd do without any of you. You're there for me when I need you most, and you're never there to judge. I feel so blessed to have each and every one of you in my lives, and hope to keep you all as long as I can. I thank you for being here.
*End Reflection*
Enough for now--
Later. |
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| FUCK FINALS. |
[Jun. 7th, 2005|02:12 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  AHHH!!!! | ] |
2 Days of school left and counting. First day of finals was a fucking bloodbath, NO ONE finished the algebra 2 final, I probably got close to failing it, oh well...I fucking hate stressful tests. I FORGOT nearly everything I'd learned in the past 2 weeks. Fuck finals. Oh well, the worst is over with. You know what I hate? Dirty fucking Mexicans with cheap cars and expensive subwoofers that can be heard 5 fucking blocks down. Anyways...Back to doing various stupid useless shit.
*Poof* Gone. |
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| What happens when you try to organize... |
[Jun. 1st, 2005|03:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crazy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Spineshank: Violent Mood Swings | ] |
What my room looked like studying last night:
Yeah....I'm messy organized ;-)
Got to bed at a decent...11:30 last night. It'll be about the same tonight. <sarcasm> Hooray for school! </sarcasm> Anyways, just a few more days of regular classes then hell week then DONE. I have some kickass parents, btw. My dad is going to sell his practically brand new pride-and-joy imported motorcycle so we dont have to take out another loan to pay for my car this summer. I feel bad, in a way, and know I'm a spoiled little bitch, but my mom said I'm only gonna be around here for 2 more years anyways, and I need the car more then he does his joyride bike. Anyways, back to my work.
Peace out. |
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| Enjoy the silence. |
[May. 31st, 2005|08:57 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | AYE! BITCH! | ] |
| [ | music |
| | P.O.D.: Asthma | ] |
My mind is all over the fucking place tonight, can't think straight, I wanted to head to bed early but that's not going to happen any time soon...I don't get these teachers. They want us to "review"- yet the last week of school assign us shitloads of work, reading, tests, along with studying. Solution: BURN THE FUCKER DOWN!!! Err..Ahem. Anyways, back to doing shit. But, before I leave, anyone check out today's msn headline?
Funny shit.
Alex out. |
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| ieaiaio |
[May. 30th, 2005|05:49 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | *Ready to fall asleep on desk* | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Silence. | ] |
Agh! It's monday! And I have school tomorrow! WHEN WILL IT END!? Actually, in a week and a day it'll end. But it's going to be one LONG FUCKING WEEK. Oh well, the wait will be worth it. Summer begins...School ends...the days of fucking around with friends begins...The days of endless work end...for a few months, at least. I get a week of messing around, a week of Maui, then when I get back I'm gettin my own truckkkk. Went test driving yesterday, got to drive a whole load of trucks around. Was quite fun actually, I made the dealers very nervous driving, being a teenager in all, but hey, that's my job, to wreak havoc with those around me! Anyways, I just kicked about 6 people out of my room, and sent em' all home. Time to get to writing some essays.
Ciao
~Alex |
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| Black ole' Sun, won't you come.. |
[May. 29th, 2005|08:55 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | Necesito Dormir | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Pink Floyd: Time | ] |
*Yawns* Wheeee I am wayyyy tired. Hit the bed at about 2:30, got up at about 8:30, and I'm not one to sleep in. Anyways, yesterday was pretty fun. Got up at 9, left with a few friends and headed out for the paintball field. I must of done some pretty bad shit, because karma was killin me yesterday. I got there, paid, and spent an hour tuning my gun because the velocity wasn't legal, it was about twice what it was supposed to be. I finally fixed the shit, got out there, and had a kickass time. And then, this one round, me and my friend were the last 2 people on the team vs this one guy hiding in the back of the field with a pimped out gun (I'd bust out the mad Paint skills but it's too early)..So I'm like this is easy shit. I'm movin through the bunkers, in and out left and right, just moving forward and trying to spot him. Well, lone behold, my gun starts leaking. I got it to stop, but I knew trouble was ahead. So I take a run forward to rush the bitch, and right as I had PERFECT FUCKING SIGHT ON HIM one of my 3-way air pneumatic tubes popped right out, leaving my gun leaking of air and virtually useless. I just SCREAMED "FUCKING BITCH" and the guy turned around and shot me. Then my friend got owned, and we lost like the fucking disgrace we were! Anyways, good fun. Then I went to some scuba/snorkel refresher course and swam in a heated pool at 93F while my little cousin learned how to snorkel. Refreshing. Then I got home at about 6...Passed out on the bed, woke up, and realized "hey, I've never seen Pulp Fiction!". Went out, rented it, and watched it till' about 1. Oh, and somewhere in between there, going back to the karma thing, jumping around screaming "HOW I COULD JUST KILL A MAN", I somehow managed to step in dog barf. But, anyways, back to Pulp Fiction- Movie fucking OWNS!!11onEONE!@$ If anyone hasn't seen it, they must! So yeah, then I went on the pc and started messin around doin all the stuff I normally do...lost track of time, then finally went to bed.
And on to today...Hmmm... Not doin much today. Gonna go out and look at some cars and test drive some shit, then work on fixing my gun, then probably hanging out with some friends who get back home today. Gotta love 3 day weekends.
Adios--
Alex. |
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| Aye! |
[May. 27th, 2005|10:05 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | BOOM! | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Seether: Truth | ] |
*Sniff* Allergies kickin' in again. Anyways. I am boooorreeeddd off my ass. I was supposed to go see Star Wars tonight, but my friends decided to go to a *party* instead, and it wasn't one I was exactly looking forward to, so I didn't go. Chilled with some other friends instead. Anyways, looks like we've made some spur of the moment plans to paintball tomorrow, so I guess I'm going paintballing tomorrow! Wooo! So looks like I gotta get ready for paintballing tomorrow, and THEN I have to go to a scuba lesson. Bleh. Oh well, hooray for 3 day weekends! Hmmm...What else to ramble on about. School was good today, I met some *new* people today, made some new friends, had some good fun. Fucking with freshmen is fun. We were sitting on our bleachers today at lunch, watching some junior vs senior football game, and the little fresh punks decided to start throwin some peanuts (mixed with a banana peal) at me and some friends. So, we took our coke bottles, unscrewed the caps, and tossed em' over in their direction. That shut em up, for sure. Good stuff. Anyways, yeah uhmmm I have one more week of school before hell week aka finals. Oh joy. My grades aren't going to be that bad at least. Though, I think I'm doing a bit shitty in Biology, which = bad for me. Oh well. I was walkin around in bio today fucking around during our lab, and I lifted up this sheet that was covering this shit that smelled sooooo bad in this like cooking pan. Lone behold, the butchered fetal pigs that the AP Bio class had been dissecting! No better sight to see then big guts eyes anuses ears feet and all that good shit bundled up into one slimy mess! Mmm... I was just reading what my friend wrote in my yearbook, "LEARN TO PARK YOU CRAZY BITCH!!" -- I almost backed up into him yesterday LOL. AGH WHERE THE HELL IS MY CAMERA CABLE!
^^ Had to downsize it..but like...it was one of those classics like What? kind of pictures. That's what happens when you get bored with a camera.
-Rov3r 0UT |
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| Yeah, we're alright, we're all calm! |
[May. 26th, 2005|03:31 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  calm | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Pearl Jam: Black | ] |
TGTF. Man, there are many things I'm good at, one of them NOT being fucking parking. I drove myself to school today since the madre didn't need the car. I can't park for fucking SHIT, unless I'm just turning into a straight parking spot. If there's backing up involve, I'm GOING to fuck up. It's inevitable. I turn in to park on the street this morning, and my friend is parked behind me, and he saw me and right away backed up a little more...he knew what was coming. I give you "Drawing A":
 <--- If you follow the arrows, you'll see that I backed up over the curb once, went forward, backed over curb again, forwards again, before FINALLY making it into my spot. And the huge fucking schoolbus parked in front of me was no help WHATSOEVER. And AFTER school, this fucking sportster had his liscence plate so close to the front of my car it was TOUCHING. I felt like ramming my Maxima RIGHT into his ass. But, instead, I spent 10 minutes getting out of being squished between two cars, before I could make it on home.
Anyways, allergies SUCK. As of last night, since I slept with my window open, I started sneezing like a madman, my throat was swelling up, and my eyes were getting quite red. It didn't get any better today. BLEH. Oh well. Today @ school owned, we had like 25 minute classes followed by a wasteful 2 hr. 45 min lunch signing yearbooks and messing around. Our yearbooks were trashhhhh but oh well. I got about 90% of my class to sign mine (other 10% were assholes I hated). There's a lot of cool people leavin next year...it sucks ;-/. But whatever, more people leave, more come! Point is, I have about a week left before school ends, one week and 3 days before school OFFICIALLY ends. I'm excited for the ending part, stressing for the finals part. I think it's time to go pester some friends of mine...
Hmm...I wonder of any of my friends actually read this shit ;). I should get a counter.
That's all for now-
Alex |
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| Good God's---Urge! |
[May. 25th, 2005|05:37 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hot | ] |
| [ | music |
| | System of a Down: Innervision | ] |
What up. It is wayyyyyy fucking hot right now. It's times like these I wish I had a pool. Or hell, knew more then just like 3 people with a pool...or at least made friends with someone nearby who had one. A jacuzzi does you NO GOOD when it's mid-90s outside! Well...unless it's freezing cold, and filled with ice. That's a good idea...one to be saved for some summer fun! School didn't seem to be half bad today. Seemed very...mellow...well maybe because we were all dieing from the heat, but who cares! Tomorrow we get "day on the green". Everyone gets out of class like 3 hours early, and we all go out on the football field, sign yearbooks and eat bbq shit! Our school has a nazi administration, tho, you have to stay on campus until the "end of the day". Fuckers. Anyways I am realllyyy hot and realllyyy tired. But, the good news is, I have a Costco Chicken Ceasar Salad next to me! Wooo! All is good, once again. Anyways--I'd like to say some really "deep" and "wise" shit right now, but hey, I'm a teenager, what you expect?
Time to go....who knows where.
Alex. |
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| I walk the streets of Japan till I get lost 'Cause it doesn't remind me of anything |
[May. 24th, 2005|05:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | amused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Run DMC: You be 'Illin | ] |
It is fucking HOT. BOO TO CALIFORNIA WITH NO AIR CONDITIONING IN MY HOUSE + 5 DIFFERENT THINGS GENERATING HEAT AT ONCE. Anyways, once again, I am bored off my fucking ass, procrastinating homework. I stared at my math for like 45 minutes, somehow hoping it would do itsself, then my friend called about some help with his pc stuff, so I decided to take a journey to his house...a few houses down. I came into his house, ate his cookies, spent about 5 minutes fixing his pc, and about an hour sitting on my ass before finally going home. Had a lot of shit going on lately...And, for now, I have it temporarily handled. Today is a muchhh better day. I'm moving back into my non-emo crazy self, besides being tired from the heat. I'm contemplating between snorkling...diving..or neither when I go to Hawaii. I have to get "lessons" soon, but lessons can wait, paintballing can't! See, my kind of vacation is pretty much...lying in the sand, enjoying the sun, and resting..with a bit of swimming in crystal clear water with the fish that aren't afraid to come near you. T-Minus 10 days of school left. Hooray for that! I really need to get out and do something this summer, besides paintballing/shooting/working/camping..and your stereotypical teenage-chill-with-friends-all-day. I have a liscence! I need to go out and do something stupid...maybe I'll drive to LA and wtf am I saying I'd never even make it past the driveway of my own house. I suck at directions. Enough for now, I think it's time to go get me some Quiznos!
Peace out..
Alex.
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| Is it friday yet? |
[May. 23rd, 2005|04:08 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Meat Puppets: Evil Love | ] |
God, it's only fucking mondayyyy.....MONDAY!!!! I walked out of school today thinking "hmm...what day is it today?" Then it hit me. FUCKING MONDAY. But see, mondays are only what you make them. You can either be like aww fuck monday or like hell yes monday! Just 12 more days of school. Ugh. Then Maui! Woooo beach house in Hawaii = my favorite! Anyways, I'm just posting here because I feel like it, and I'm procrastinating the biology next to me. Got the new Audioslave cd, it's alright. A few good songs. I miss rage...it just isn't the same with that shitty soundgarden singer. Also have the new System of a Down cd, not a big fan of SOAD, but I've got to say, it isn't half bad. I'm in such a random mood right now. I could just run out to my window and scream "SLEEP NOW IN THE FIRE!!!" at the little kids outside, run out and circle around them like I'm some little crazy freak, come inside, and just sit down like it was nothing. Key word could tho, meaning I'm too tired/lazy to. When will it be friday...ugh.
SHOUT OUT TO STORMY! WOO YOU OWN!
peewee sandwich (7:38:50 PM): i like to be left alone. i like my clothes not matching, i like to smell funny, i like to drive fast, curse and drink beer. i'm not a girly girl. i'm probabl a sissy dyke if anything.
peewee sandwich (7:40:13 PM): i'm just a girl because it's the role i was forced into with life. i don't wear skirts..ever. i hate makeup. i hate having to even brush my hair. the only good thing about being a girl is kissing boys, BUT I COULD DO THAT IF I WAS A BOY TOO.
peewee sandwich (7:40:16 PM): *twitch*
Anyways, I'm out.
Peace.
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| He had a lot to say. He had a lot of nothing to say. We'll miss him. |
[May. 18th, 2005|08:00 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | blah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Rage Against The Machine: Microphone Fiend | ] |
Alright....first post...where to begin. Hmmm...
Well, I've never even done something like this before. Usually when I have a thought to bitch about, I'll talk to a few friends, who either listen, or completely tune me out, but hey, it works for me. A little background info on me, name is Alex, 16, live in California. Bay Area. Go to a private, catholic school...loosely based on religion. It's a bit corrupt, in my opinion. I love anything involving guns, basically. Paintballing, airsofting, competitive shooting (epsic). I also like anything that has to do with the PC. Programming, hacking, cracking, gaming, all that shit. I'm full of ambition, and am currently aiming to go to a UC to study something along the lines of Bio/Genetic Engineering. I can already tell you that's going to change in the next year. Next year is junior year, I've pretty much signed my life away, with all AP and Honors classes. Now, you're probably thinking right now "what a geeeekkkk" well actually those of you reading this probably already know me, but in case you dont, I'm not your stereotypical geek. I don't sit inside all day, well then again sometimes I do...but still. I have a life, I have friends, several groups of friends actually. I do have a girlfriend, who I love and adore...but she lives a ways away (comin up to visit soon enuff)...and has changed a lot lately, along with broken my heart, which I'm trying to move on with.
Anyways, moving on to what's currently eating away my mind:
Respect. Everyone wants it, not many people have it. I sure as hell wish I had some nowadays. My sophomore class respects no one. They don't respect eachother, themselves, their teachers, their parents. I swear, I keep to myself as much as possible, and only speak when I feel it's necessary. Well, around most people anyways. No, I'm not antisocial, I'm a crazy motherfucker around my friends, and yes I do talk a lot, but it depends who I'm around. Anyways, back to the point, as much as I keep to myself, some jerk ALWAYS has something to say to me, something to ridicule me with. Sometimes I think half the people in my class are out to ruin my life. I don't know. People suck. Maybe it's teenagers, highschool, or maybe just the crazyass hormones. And the thing is, no matter how shitty I'm treated by whoever, it doesn't change how I treat them, with the same amount of respect I give everyone else, and they still go on to be assholes. It's like....You can never win in life, no matter how hard you try.
Much love,
Alex.
Wooo Pic of me:  6'2, 200lbs, represent! |
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